Who I am now

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It was my birthday yesterday, it was the best birthday I have ever had. It was a beautiful and blessed day for me. Not because I got gifts or everyone I knew wished me happy birthday but because I did not have expectation on anyone to wish me happy birthday. Everyone is in their own dream, fighting their own demons and trying to get through the day as best as they can, so why would they remember me, but the people I meant a lot to remembered and wished me well, I appreciated that more than anything they could give me. It was better because I did not have to announce it for them to remember then feel obligated to wish me well instead it came from the way they see me and who I am to them, to remember my birthday. I seriously did not take it personal or make any assumptions as to why they forgot because I am at peace with myself, not looking for anyone’s approval to enjoy my day the way I saw fit. I had a blessed day and I absolutely loved it.

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Before I was my real self, I was always looking for approval, for love to be given back to me, for me to be appreciated. It always made me sad, made me what I was not and me not liking who I was, questioning myself and the people around me of their love and affection for me. I was emotionally torturing myself and it took me long to know that I was doing what I should not be doing because I was damaging myself. What I was meant to be doing was looking on to myself, not looking for approval from anyone but myself, not taking things personally, not making assumptions, forgiving myself of my mistakes, not judging and comparing myself to others and doing my best no more no less.

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Yesterday was the day I knew I had come far from what I was a year ago to what I am now. I have changed and I am proud of what I am and who I am now. My birthday was like celebrating the change that I am now. I am my absolute self to myself. What helped me to accomplish this state of mind that I am in is the four agreement (be impeccable with your word, don’t take anything personal, don’t make assumptions and always do your best), be truthful to yourself, do not judge yourself and always forgive yourself.

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I am not writing my experience to let you know about me and what is happening in my life but to give you proof that self-love, discovery and development really works but you also have to want change in your life for change to happen. You can try it once or even twice and give up because you didn’t see any change, it has to be a habit that you are not expecting the reward but the reward will come in tenfold more than the work you put into it. You have to have the will and motivation to be better for yourself emotionally and physically for you to see change in your life.

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Thanks for reading.

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